FDS Support Groups Evaluation 2014.
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“This is a fantastic group session we have learned so much, and not afraid to come
out or ask anything .
“I meet with group members outside the group as well as attending the group. Our
Christmas get together for lunch was very enjoyable.”
Allows for acceptance
The combination of knowing about drugs and addiction and understanding that it is
‘not their fault’, helps family members to accept the situation in its reality. Although
this can be a stark realisation, it is also reported to be very powerful in that it frees the
family from the constant cycle of trying to change their drug user’s behaviour, and
from emotions of denial, anger and self blame, as these comments show:
“You cannot see in the beginning. It is all ‘ look what you are doing to us, look what
you are doing to our family!”
“I realized now that I did the wrong thing in constantly trying to change her
behaviour. You just can’t. I’ve had to change. I’ve had to accept the situation.”
“I never thought I would walk out of the storm. But I have. I can’t control it. If she is
going to relapse again, then so be it.”
“Coming to the meetings has helped me to stop worrying day and night as I now
realise that doesn’t help at all, I feel much better on a daily basis. Can cope much
more.”
“You learn a lot of things. And it’s not just about accepting the drug use. You become
a lot more tolerant, non judgmental and accepting of people. I am a different person
now.”
Provides hope and the chance to give back to other families
Several of the long term participants saw that they provided hope for other parents,
and that this was part of the reason they kept attending. By ‘hope’, they meant firstly
that a ‘good news story’ would show parents that many drug users do stop using, and
that the relationships can recover. In addition, and possibly more importantly, given
that many families suffer for years with the problem, is the hope for having their own
life, doing their own thing, and that they can cope, regardless of what the drug user
does. Long term participants really valued the chance to help the newer families and
to offer their stories, as these comments show:
