FDS Insight Newsletter Jul-Sep 2020

4 Cover my dreams in ink his is an excerpt from the book ‘Cover My Dreams in Ink’ by Jessie Dunleavy, who lost her son to a drug overdose. It saddens me that Paul viewed his addiction as a moral disgrace, making for yet another way he felt isolated and ashamed. Paul suffered feelings of abandonment and was riddled with self-doubt, stoked by his years of going from school to school, with a downward spiral in his overall plight. How tragic, then, that his turning to drugs as an escape from his pain brought on incarceration and shackles and hunger and otherwise degrading treatment, serving only to reinforce his shame. Adding to all of this, Paul had not gotten over the loss of friends he’d known and valued his whole life. It was yet another situation in which he was not allowed a voice, and in truth was dehumanized. It occurred to me that maybe Paul gave in to the hopelessness of it all, that maybe he felt the fight was impossible and threw caution to the wind, risking his own life. Because I don’t really think so, it would be too great a leap to say he died of a broken heart. But I do know he died with a broken heart. My solace: If there is a place where good souls go, he is there. If there is not, at the very least he is now pain free. Good night, my child.  This is a poem written by her son Paul Connection I’m so fed up with trying My life makes sense to me now The spirit of youth is gone And I ask myself what is left? Reawakened dreams grab a hold And take footing on the ledge of my ego A series of books Written by me Then there’s my heart that craves Mostly connection And a good deal of rest In between conversations So that I can be recharged And ready to talk again My life … It means everything That I get the chance to connect I don’t know how else to put this into words I’d give you a hug but my hands, They’re behind my back. T