 Seek help. Don't deal with things in isolation. Talk openly to your partner and the rest of your family.

 Learn about drugs.

 Listen to the drug user. Look for cues that they want to talk.

 Try to avoid control and direction. These tactics usually lead to more underground activity and resistance to change.

 Open and honest communication is almost always the best policy.

 Acceptance is not the same as approval.

 When verbal communication is impossible or very difficult try writing a letter.

 No-one's drug use can be directly controlled by another person.

 Support is not the same as rescue.

 Listening is the most useful communication skill.

 Try not be judgemental, accusatory or emotional. Defer communication if you are not calm.

 Love and acceptance are not the same as being a `doormat'.

 Be clear on the boundaries set.

 Trust is a major issue for both parent and user.

 Different situations demand different strategies. There is no `right' or `wrong' way of dealing with drug issues.

 Separate negative behaviour from the person you love.

 Don't be afraid to talk to people and ask for help.

 Families also need help, not just the drug user.

 Be informed. Educate yourself about drugs and the issues.

 Understand the meaning of dependence.

 No treatment will work until he/she wants it to.

 Not every treatment is right for every person.

 Lapsing should not be seen as a failure. It is normal.

 Drug users have the right to be treated with dignity.

 Most families have influence over the drug user, especially when the drug user lives at home or has regular contact.

 Expression of emotions and acknowledgement of feelings is therapeutic.

 Never give up hope.

 There are no formulas or right or wrong ways of dealing with drug issues in a family. It is no good doing something you are not comfortable with. Before taking action, think through consequences and chose the one you can live with.

 Be aware of hypocrisy, especially in your own use of substances.

 Be aware of your own emotional state and the family dynamics in relation to the drug problem. All family members are affected and need acknowledgement and support. Every member can invoke and influence change.

 Expression of emotion and acknowledgement of feelings is therapeutic. Sharing information with other families creates collective wisdom.

 Knowledge is power. Make sure you accurately understand the nature and effects of different drugs. Seek information on all aspects of the drug issue eg treatment options, drug courts, overdose prevention, risks and responses. Know about tolerance and poly-drug use.

 Take things one step at a time. Encourage a harm minimisation approach. Reduction, control and improvement of lifestyle can be an excellent start.

 Abuse, particularly physical, should never be tolerated or accepted. If necessary AVO procedures may be appropriate  this does not have to mean abandonment or disconnection.

 Avoid blaming yourself. We believe that families generally do the best they can with the knowledge, awareness and circumstances they have at the time.

 Don't rush into `knee-jerk; responses. It is better to calm down, think things through and make rational decisions.

 As a coping mechanism, it is tempting to break trust, e.g. search property, read diaries and breach boundaries. Remember, we often accuse the user of lying, deceiving, manipulation and stealing. We need to encourage two-way trust.

 When verbal communication is limited or difficult, try writing a letter.

 Look after yourself. Take care of your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. For a positive outcome, you and the family have to survive the process too.

 Expressions of emotions and acknowledgement of feelings are therapeutic. Sharing information with other families creates collective wisdom.

 Professionals have skills, knowledge, resources and expertise useful in helping families.

 Family support is a paramount factor in successful outcomes.

 Know about the various services available to the drug user and to the family.

 Know about dependence: physical, emotional and psychological. Be aware of the power of dependence.

 Know about the various detox options and their impact on the user and family.

 Know about the pharmaco-therapies: methadone, naltrexone and buprenorphine.

 Know about needle exchange programs. They are also valuable sources of information, support, advice and referral.

 Know about life after drug use and its impact on the user.

 Be informed.

 Understand the stages of change model for the drug user. Accept lapsing as a challenge, not the end of the world.

 Understand the family stages of change. Look for workable options.

 Don't put your life on hold. Continue to do the things you love.

 Walk away from confrontation.

 Set workable boundaries with acceptable consequences. Don't set yourself up for failure.

 Improved well-being of the drug user and of the family.

 Improved competence, confidence and management of drug usage within the family.

 Improved relationships within the family, with all people acknowledged and relationships strengthened.

 Improved emotional management.

 Improved problem solving skills.

 Improved processes that effect positive change especially by solution focused mechanisms.

 Believe in a win/win situation.