| Jill
Ireland, Hollywood actress, wife of Charles Bronson,
writes a personal account of her triple whammy)her breast
cancer, her father's reduction to being an invalid via
a series of strokes, and her adopted son, Jason's heroin
addiction.
Sadly, all three people have died since the book was
published. Putting sentimentality aside and attempting
a critical analysis, Iwould subtitle this book: We
Rich And Famous Have Problems Too, You Know.
Ihave read many accounts of families struggling with
life coupled to addiction and most have reduced me
to tears. An example is the volume of stories presented
in Canberra by the DTF last October. It is a heart-breaking
document, wrought with tragedy, and much that we parents
can identify with.
Jill Ireland's book is peculiarly unengaging. After
pondering and puzzling over this phenomenon in such
a tragic tale, Irealised the cause: Ms Ireland admits
of no foibles. In her personal account she never puts
a foot wrong, never acknowledges that her perfect
lifestyle might have been some contributing factor
in her dislocated son's addiction. Everything seems
to be someone else's fault. Even where she attempts
to admonish herself over a situation it is a covert
way of attributing blame to someone else. Buying luxurious
real estate around California, moving precious art
works from one house to another seems to be such a
chore. Yet, when she meets Jason's birth mother (only
after his drug addiction is well established) and
discovers his father's mafia connections and drug
addiction, therein lies all the answers. He was fated
to becoming a drug addict.
The book made me feel hopelessly inadequate as a parent
of a drug addict. Shame, blame, guilt, regret should
not be part of our lives as we struggle to come to
terms with our loved one's addictions. But, unfortunately,
we all complicate the situation with these feelings.
A crucial part of coping with addiction in the family
is our ability to acknowledge, accept and pass through
our self-scourging and purging processes. Ms Ireland
never seemed to be subjected to self-doubt or personal
inadequacies. Even in her final chapter where she
says women always feel responsible for other members
of the family, it appears to be mutually exclusive,
and does not acknowledge the, perhaps, deeper, quieter
pain felt by fathers in this situation.
On a literary note, Ms Ireland is no wordsmith and
has no feel for dialogue (surprising in an actress).
Ido not believe her book would have been published
if she had not been rich and famous.
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