I'm
OK, I Can Handle It, I'm Not Hooked
Lorrie
Jenkins
ref:
October 99 Heroinsight
THE
HORROR AND SHOCK you find yourself faced with when
you learn your much-loved sons are using drugs is
unbelievable.
You
ask them, How can you do this to yourself? Don't
you know how dangerous this is? But they know it
all. In my case, it was two of my four sons, Tony
and Paul.
Next
question: How do I stop it? Where do I turn for
help? Dozens of phone calls, many wasted hours,
referred from one person to the next.
I
was able to get Paul help as he was a real problem.
WHOS took him, then Odyssey, but that did not stop
his downward spiral, degradation, lies, stealing,
manipulation, cheating on family and friends.
You
love your sons, but you also hate them, for what
they do to themselves and all around them.
Prison
was the next step, which was a relief. I then knew
where he was. He went onto methadone whilst inside.
He was in and out for the next ten years. He would
re-offend when released so that he would have to
go back in. It was easier than taking care of himself.
Tony
did not give the same problems. He led almost two
lives, one I never saw. He married, had a management
position, had very rare sick days. Very few people
knew of his drug problem. It was not evident to
most people. Tony was a pillar of his church, helping
and counselling youth, soccer coach for church group,
bible study groups.
We
thought he was clean, but unbeknown to us or his
wife he was still using occasionally.
On
3 February 1997, his wife returned from gym to find
him dead on the kitchen floor. He died from an almost
pure dose of heroin.
His
hell and torment is over; he is at peace. `Yes,
mother, I'm OK, I can manage it.'
Tony's
death was Paul's turning point. He was released
in November 1997 and has been living in a flat on
his own and working full-time. I feel very proud
and hopeful . . . but time will tell.
