Mad's
Tongue-in-Cheek Look at How to Talk to Your Kids
About Drugs
ref:
March 98 Heroinsight
Talking to your kids about drugs. It's probably
one of the most difficult tasks that parents face
today. But it's a job that must be done.
The
best thing about the subject is that you don't have
to do it well. You simply have to try. Your kids
probably don't expect much from you anyway, given
how badly your talk about sex with them went. But
that's another matter and it's in the past. This
is your chance to gain back a shred of the trust
and respect you lost in their eyes after that debacle.
Accept
Rebellion
At
the heart of it, drugs, alcohol, wild hairstyles,
ear-splitting music and the like is teenage rebellionÄ
your child's way of telling you that they hate you,
your lifestyle, your friends and all the values
that you hold in high esteem and have worked your
entire life to achieve. This is a good thing. If
teenagers are to develop any sense of self worth
and superiority, there is no one better or more
convenient for them to look upon with disdain and
contempt than their parents.
You
rebelled. They're rebelling. Problem is, you did
it much more intensely and recklessly than your
kids would ever dream of doing it. Which is why
you have no credibility discussing topics like drugs
with your kids and why they hate you so, frequently
laughing at you and mocking you behind your back.
But,
like we said, you have to have this talk with them
about drugs so you might as well just get on with
it.
Don't
Get Discouraged
When
you talk to your kids about drugs, you may think
nothing is getting through to them. And you're probably
right. But keep at it anyway. Nag incessantly if
you have to. Your parents did it to you and now's
your chance to do it to your kids and to continue
this disturbing family tradition.
Sometimes
it can be very awkward getting started. Most parents
rarely talk to their children, and when they do
it's usually about something very superficial and
unimportant, like what time the mall closes or missing
money from a wallet or pocketbook. To get the ball
rolling, try rehearsing the conversation with your
spouse beforehand. Many parents have written to
tell us they found this technique very helpful.
Many more parents have written to say they found
a tequila shot or two right before confronting the
child to be even more helpful.
Start
Anywhere
However
you get started is up to you. But what you say and
how you say it is extremely important if your conversation
with your child is to be effective.
`Do
you know about any of your friends or classmates
doing drugs?'
`What
kind of drugs?'
`Do
you know where they usually buy them and how much
the dealer charges?'
`How
could mommy or daddy get in touch with this dealer?'
Some
Do's and Don'ts
Most
psychologists say what's most important when speaking
to your child is that you speak from the heart.
That's crap. Society's been listening to these eggheads
for years and things haven't gotten one bit better.
And besides, if most parents told their kid what's
really in their hearts, the kid would run out of
the room screaming and be horribly emotionally scarred
for the rest of their life. Where do you think serial
killers and axe murderers come from, anyway?
No,
it's better if you do as little talking as possible.
There's less chance to screw up and it puts more
of the burden on the defensive child. The dialogue
should be open and frank. Ask your child his or
her opinion about drugs.
Express to your child your fears and concerns. Share
with your child what it was like when you were a
teen growing up, though here it's probably best
if you leave out or deny any experimenting you may
have had with marijuana, cocaine, hallucinogenic
mushrooms, LSD and heroin.
Also,
consider leaving out or denying any stories about
your being expelled from school, any Grateful Dead
concerts you may have gone to, waking up in a bus
terminal in a pool of your own vomit, drug-related
traffic accidents in which one or more of your classmates
or friends were killed with you behind the wheel
and that whole seven-year Colombian `vacation' you
took.
Above
all, be honest.
We
know it isn't easy, especially with your short-term
memory problem. But it's important that you try.
That your child knows how you feel.
And
it's probably best if, when you speak to your child,
you don't do it when you're stoned.
(Source:
Australian MAD magazine No. 359)
